Exclusive: Muslim women open up about their unique experiences in polygamous marriages

In a series of sincere reflections, some Muslim women have shared how they feel about their husbands taking additional wives, a practice permitted in Islam as long as specific conditions are met.

According to Islamqa.com, polygamy is permissible in the religion. “Plural marriage is permissible in Islam, so a man may marry one, two, three or four wives, but it is not permissible for him to marry more than four. Conditions of plural marriage are: 1- justice and fairness, and 2- being able to afford spending on plural wives.”

Polygamy, while often challenging, is seen by some as beneficial in providing husbands for widows or divorcees and reducing societal promiscuity. Here’s what some women had to say about their experiences.

Ibrahim Aminat Morenikeji expressed her determination to stay in her marriage despite her husband taking a second wife. She shared, “I always say this anytime any day I can’t leave my marriage because of another woman.

“If you found yourself in this situation, my sister, calm down pray to God to make the incoming Wife a better version of herself, if she’s good I swear you will later be happy and have peace of mind and become sisters but if you see her is different from yours then be in your lane and mind your marriage with your husband, and always have clean heart, don’t backbite, then seat back and see how Allah fight your battle. “

Haleemot Adeboye described her reaction to her husband’s decision, explaining that she felt prepared due to his long-standing desire to take another wife. ““When he introduced another woman to me as his incoming wife, it doesn’t hit me hard because he had been singing the song of matna matna for many years I am even relieved of unnecessary suspense. I admonish myself and find joy in self love though we are not living together.”

Hauwa Diyajo reflected on her experience after 28 years of marriage. She was initially heartbroken, as her husband married a second wife without informing her or their children. Eventually, she accepted the situation, content with her life and family. Now, after 31 years of marriage, she is preparing to move forward independently, sharing, “What more can I request from Allah? Now I am working on my divorce; I am done with the marriage.”

Hajara Mohammed offered advice to other Muslim women, emphasizing the importance of accepting their husbands’ right to multiple wives as part of their faith also said “As a Muslim woman married to a Muslim man, always have it at the back of your mind that your husband is entitled to more than one wife so that you won’t feel disappointed, betrayed, pained any day he chooses to exercise those right. Know this and know peace. Ire ooo”

Another user, Fehintola Abbey explained that she suggested polygamy for her husband when she noticed that he has taken the path of infidelity. She said: “When I noticed that my hubby was cheating I told him to marry the second wife but, I can’t stay in the same roof together, I choose peace over stress.”