Marriage: A Coin with Two Sides

In today’s world, we often face the problem of generalization, where we judge an entire community based on the actions of one individual. Recently, I had the opportunity to read an article by a feminist that described marriage as “sheer greed and captivity.” However, upon closer examination, I realized that the author’s conclusion was based on her personal experience of being treated poorly by her late husband.

As renowned marriage counselor, John Gottman, notes, “Happy marriages are based on a deep friendship.” This highlights the importance of mutual respect, trust, and understanding in a successful marriage. Unfortunately, not all marriages meet this standard, leading some individuals to condemn the institution as a whole.

While it is true that some individuals have had negative experiences in marriage, it is unfair to condemn the institution entirely. Marriage is designed to bring fulfillment and happiness to both partners, providing a supportive environment where they can thrive. The role of women in helping their husbands achieve their dreams cannot be overstated, and conversely, responsible men play a vital role in supporting their wives.

As Dr. Phil McGraw says, “Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.” While this quote may seem humorous, it highlights the challenges that couples face in marriage. However, it is how we respond to these challenges that matters.

Unfortunately, some men do treat their wives poorly, neglecting their needs and disregarding their opinions. In such cases, it is understandable that marriage may feel like captivity. However, it is essential to recognize that marriage, like a coin, has two sides – good and bad. Rather than condemning the institution entirely, individuals should either accept their circumstances or consider divorce.

As Gary Chapman, author of “The Five Love Languages,” notes, “Love is a choice, and it’s a choice we make every day.” This emphasizes the importance of commitment and effort in maintaining a healthy marriage. By choosing to love and support each other, couples can overcome challenges and build a strong foundation for their relationship.

All in all, marriage is a complex institution that cannot be reduced to a single definition. While some individuals may have negative experiences, it is unfair to condemn the institution as a whole. By recognizing the dual nature of marriage and making a conscious effort to build a strong foundation, couples can create a fulfilling and happy relationship.

Therefore, let us not throw the baby out with the bathwater. I pray that God will transform troubled relationships into harmonious ones and ease our struggles. As Maya Angelou says, “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” May our marriages be filled with hope, love, and understanding.

Hassan Imam Al-Akalanby